Author's Note: I got bored, and after reading my friend's version of this, I got curious to see how mine would turn out.
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To whoever you are (and whatever stupid pet name I may or may not have chosen to give you),
I have spent the first 13 years of my life with a clear picture of who I wanted you to be. I had a set of standards that I felt that if somebody met, then they would be perfect for who you would be.
Two experiences in my life have proven to me that the best things come unexpectedly. That's the wonder of it.
Therefore, I'm going to begin this by saying that I will honestly have no idea who you will be, or what you'll be like. All I know is that in a world of infinite possibilities, it will be a wondrous thing to have met you amongst the thousands of choices and little moments that all led to this future.
A lot of people might say they want to meet the perfect guy, and that's who they'll fall in love with.
I don't want you to be perfect. That would be boring.
In fact, if there's anything I'd ask of you, it's that you won't be afraid to be flawed for me. I want to know you for who you are, for all the little details and bits that make up you. Because I wouldn't have loved you if you were anything other than who you were. I want to help prove to you that you're a thermodynamic miracle, and that you were an improbability that still sprung up in the world.
Therefore, in advanced, I wanted to thank you. Firstly, I want to thank you for putting up with me. I know how infuriating I can get. I know how I can be strange and not very easy to understand. But I guess the fact that you've chosen me means that to some extent, you do understand. Thank you for appreciating me for me.
I hope that whatever we have will make it. I hope that we both understand that it's not just about this giddy feeling of butterflies we get. Because by now I'm sure you understand that I'm a huge mess between a cynic and a wild, crazy dreamer. So part of me is terrified that one day you're just going to get up, walk away and say quite simply that the magic is over between us. That part of me is also terrified that one day, the one walking out the door might be me. So I hope that we can remember that what we have right now is also a commitment. It's a promise that we've made to each other. And if there's one thing I'm proud of, it's my stubbornness to keep promises. Hopefully you believe in the same thing, as well. But this marriage is obviously about two people. So we'll always need to compromise. And that will need honesty. So no matter how many fights we might get into, I hope we end up fixing them before we go to bed. And that will need the honesty and getting over the fear of hurting each other.
I'm apologizing in advanced for the days I'm going to be off. Even more off than usual, anyway. I really have no explanation for you to make you understand why there are some days when everything just feels so wrong. Maybe it will be those days I'm going to be more isolated and just write. Please understand that I have a passion for writing, and sometimes writing will mean I have to be alone. It doesn't mean I love writing more than you. If I could share that part of my world with you, I would. But I have no idea how. And I'm sorry for that. I'm also apologizing for the times you may find yourself in my writing. Even if it won't always be blatant: maybe you'll find one of our moments recreated in a story, or a character that salutes everyone goodbye the way you do. Sometimes, I won't be able to help it. You have, after all, become a huge part of my world. And I can't help it if I subconsciously end up proclaiming how wonderful those quirks of you are to all my readers.
So here's to hoping the best for the rest of our lives together. I look forward to all the adventures we're going to share: and please note that as a writer and a reader, I've come to understand that even the smallest moments can be adventures if you look at it right. This means that you don't have to feel pressured to always emblazon the times we spend together: I'm not picky when it comes to where we are while we're on a date, or what we're doing.
Even if we just lie in bed all day and talk about nonsensical things and play with each other's hair, I wouldn't mind. It's you, specifically, that I've chosen. Not the places you took me out on dates.
Although, a small hint, but I'm sure you know this by now from the time before we got married: I love toy stores and book stores, and maybe making random commentary on things while we're in them.
That doesn't mean I don't want to try new things though. If you ever get tickets to an awesome play, or to a new country, I would love to go with you. I guess all I really want is to be able to say I've made memories with you.
I'm sure I love you. And I'm sorry for the times I'm not exactly physically affectionate. I try my best to show it in whatever way I can. But I'm not cheesy or sweet. At least, not in the conventional way. I hope you understand that.
Also, I'm sorry for always taking your cookies.
Love,
Me(or whatever stupid pet name you may or may not have chosen to give me)
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